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War with Spain


Richlist

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I'm off to Spain in a few weeks to check on my property.

Given the problems with Spain over Gibralter, should I cancel the trip ?

Wouldn't want to be stuck behind enemy lines once hostilities start !?

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Oh to be in England now that April's here..........

What a load of utter rubbish broadcast today...let the Spanish in control of The Rock and they'd ruin the economy in 12 months - the whole thing would be pointless then.  The Spanish need us far more than we need them.

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If Spain kicks up too much it would only need a couple of national papers such as the Mail and/or Sun to have a campaign to encourage people to take their hols in Portugal or Grease  and not Spain.

Even if 10% took notice, Spain would be bankrupted and knocked back to a third world country.  

 

 

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I have an idea. We should send an Armada of ships to Spain. That will make a change.

On second thoughts forget that idea as our ships are still being built and most of our destroyer's are in Portsmouth harbour having engine changes and we have insufficient RN sailors to Man even the Gosport ferry.

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There was an interesting comparison on the BBC news this evening. The figures I remember are :

Unemployment in Gibralter = 1%.....Spain = 35%

Corporation tax Gibralter = 10% .......Spain = 25%

Mortitia is right. Spain is already deep in the smelly stuff. Their economy would ruin Gibralter very quickly. They should stick with what they do best...sun, sea & tourism.

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Guess what??????

Apparently Calais still belongs to England. It was never gifted or surrendered to the French.

Looks like this grabbing back bits of land.....started by the Spanish......has a way to go yet.

Are there any other bits of Europe that we can stake a claim to ?

This is good fun.

We might need to redraw the map of Europe by 2019

Long live the Brexit negotiations.?

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A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Theresa May, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

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Spain sent a 290ft Corvette into Gibralter waters yesterday which was chased off by HMS Scimitar.

Next will come their Spanish Armada (version 2).

Light the beacons along the coast....make sure you are ready.

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10 hours ago, Richlist said:

 

Light the beacons along the coast....make sure you are ready.

 

 

 Sorry, I will be busy 10 pin bowling to attend to this matter right away.

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