Should I give notice

[vision]

My student tenant moved in 6 months ago. She is a mature girl and a model tenant in every respect except one. She is leaving in September but has asked to come back on her return in January. I have gone to a lot of trouble to ensure that her room is let only during her absence. Should she decide to give me notice on her return it will be very difficult to let the room in January compared to now when students are still looking.

We have a licence to occupy and also house rules. One of the rules is that she cannot invite overnight visitors. And this is the problem. She has taken this rule to mean that so long as he leaves in the middle of the night it doesn’t count as an overnight visitor. She has started sneaking in her boyfriend at night. I feel humiliated that she should choose to do this behind my back and a little paranoid as I fear she may have involved the other tenants and created a conspiracy to keep this her secret.

When we were discussing her future tenancy I used that opportunity to explain that inviting your boyfriend to the small hours of the night is disruptive to the house and maybe she needs somewhere more private to live. She assured me that she would rather stay with me. He has never visited during the day or evening.

I have gone to a lot of trouble to ensure her room will be vacant on her return but now I fear she may be using me to avoid the bother of finding another place so close to her departure and that later she will give me my month’s notice.

The first time she brought someone I was too embarrassed to confront him or to say anything to her. Since then I do not know how many times she has had visitors to her room – I do not actually spy on her and I am often away. But I have now seen a man leaving her room gone midnight. I saw her sneaking around checking to see if ‘the coast was clear’ before he could leave and when I appeared in the hallway the game was up. Afterwards we talked. She claims he was just a friend who works late and came for a chat on his way home. I don't know if he was the same one as before and how many times this one has come 'for a chat' after work before.

I find the situation that has arisen difficult. Apart from feeling humiliated and a little paranoid with respect to the other lodgers, I don’t see why I have to see a stranger in my house at that hour. I do not like this type of conflict and I do not know how to resolve it.

My instict is to give her notice but I don’t like giving people notice if I can help it as it leaves a bad feeling with other lodgers. Also the new lodger is moving into the room in September and leaving in 4 months. I haave potentially a void for several months after that.

Would I be advised to give this girl notice and try and let the room to someone else for January? I could be the loser in the long run.

If I let her stay on how could I trust her?

[Trenners]

Hi Vision,

It seems to me like you've got a really good tenant who looks after your property and pays their rent on time. On top of that you also seems to get on well - which is why you have been so flexible with the rental dates.

I don't really understand why you have such a stringent house rule relating to boyfriends staying over - are you not prepared to negotiate / be more flexible about this house rule so that you keep your tenant ?

I would have thought that as long as the tenant is not making any unreasonable noise !! and the boyfriend is not allowed to move in - then an occasional stopover from time to time would be a fair and reasonable expectation of _any_ tenant.

If you are unwilling to relax this houserule then I suggest you serve notice and try and find a Nun to rent your room instead !

Mark

[Linda]

Hi Vision,

As I suspect nuns are hard to come by (!!) and speaking as someone who also has a female lodger I would suggest a gently chat over a cup of tea asking her how she feels about the house rule (rules are there for both people to agree on) and also explain to her why it is so important to you not to have overnight guests. For example, security or morale reasons which are all valid but just need to be explained in an open and non-confrontational manner. As Trenners says, be open-minded and prepare to compromise.

Your lodger sounds considerate as firstly she says she wants to stay and secondly she cares about how you feel hence the reason for ensuring guys don't stay the whole night. Do not see this as her 'sneaking behind your back' but more caring about how you feel.

Perhaps a bit of advice as well. When you decide to have 'strangers' in your house then the level of privacy you're use to does reduce. It is something you need to accept before deciding to rent your home of residence which is why many people choose not to do it.

Good Luck!